Choices that we live with
by AlysiaStorms
Summary: Cagalli reflects on a choice she made years ago, after recieving an invitation to a wedding that isn't hers. But his....


_This is suiting my mood more or less right now. A departure from my Inuyasha ones I might say…._

_I do not own anything from Gundam Seed Destiny…_

_**Regret**_

_Cagalli, stared out the window. Sadness deep and resolute radiated from her body. The pain in her eyes flowing as she clutches a single piece of paper. _

_  
An invitation inviting her to Athrun's wedding. _

_Crumpling up in her fist, the blond leader of Orb begins to cry as memories mixed with fantasy plague her mind. _

_A memory of her surrendering to what her minister's wanted. Marrying someone she did not love simply for the sake of her country that she did love. Doing all she can to ensure that Orb had peace and contentment._

_But in the end, she couldn't go through with it thanks to Kira and the others timing. They had swooped her up before she could say I do. They said nothing about the why or the how that they had come to fetch her. Kira had simply stated it was to help Cagalli from making the biggest mistake of her life. _

_At that single comment, she knew that they had been referring to Athrun._

_Dark blue hair and vibrant green eyes…eyes that had been filled with warmth and love for her so long ago. But was now directed towards someone else…_

_Thoughtful for a moment, she finds herself clutching only moments later the engagement ring Athrun had given her. Once it had lain on her finger and she had been so proud to wear it…while at the same time ashamed. Although everyone knew that Kira was not only a coordinator, but also her brother after the first war. It still rankled some in Orb, despite his hero status, for that had meant that their leader was also one as well. _

_To find that she was also in love with one at such a tender time would have been disastrous. Especially if they knew it was Chairman Zala's son…_

_So despite what her heart had told her she caved…she caved in to what they wanted. So against her heart's wishes, she had tried to give the ring back to Athrun. Not once...but twice. _

_First time was through Kira, the second time had been through Meyrin. Still, somehow it came back to her and with it a note from Athrun._

_**Keep it…**_

_She had hoped. She had hoped so much that he had forgiven her for her mistake. That he was coming back to Orb to be with her. She had planned to be open, and to tell her critics to kiss off if they didn't like the fact she loved him. _

_But instead she had to hear the news from Kira and Lacus. _

_He had only given the ring back, stating that it was no longer his to give, or to take._

_No longer his…._

_When she had heard those three words, she had flown to her rooms and started packing. Intent so much on going to him, that if he wasn't going to come to her in Orb. She would be with him in the Plants…._

_Then she looked out her window._

_And saw the continuing reconstruction of her homeland. It had been destroyed in the first war. Although salvaged somewhat during the second, it still needed time to be healed. It still needed time, before it would allow her to be free. _

_So she stopped…._

_She stopped. She doesn't know how long she stared out at the window, or how long Lacus had been speaking to her, pleading with her to go to him. She heard herself, telling Lacus, she would go to him when Orb was safe. When Orb could be the nation it was once again. _

_She ignored her friend's words. That it could take years. She didn't hear when her brother came to her a few days later and pled with her to make the right choice. _

_It didn't sink in until six months later, when Athrun sent her one last note. _

_**I understand, and I forgive you Cagalli. Be happy….**_

_Athrun was moving on with his life. He had been doing the same for the Plants as she was doing for Orb, Kira had told her days later. But with a big difference…_

_Unlike her, he accepted help…. He made time to be with Kira, Lacus, Miriallia, and all their friends here in Orb. And during those times he was away, Yzak, Dearka, and even Meyrin, his soon to be wife, had taken over his projects. Had made sure they were running smoothly, while he took time off._

_They were a team…_

_And she wasn't, or she wasn't allowed. Although Kira and Lacus and the others have offered to help her several times, she had shaken her head no. Kira and Lacus for obvious reasons, and for which they understood. _

_Mirallia, Andrew Watfeld and Captain Romius, had offered to knock some sense into the minister's heads. But she shook her head no. Her people wanted her, not them. They wanted her to fix the mistakes of the past._

_Her friends had tried to tell her, the people were being selfish….that they didn't understand that besides being their leader. Cagalli was also a human being. One who needed to get away…._

_Still she said no, her people needed her now. How could she desert them?_

_That was almost 5 years ago…._

_Orb was almost on its feet now. Orb was getting ready to let their beloved Cagalli be free. But it was to late…_

_Too late…_

_Too late for hope…to late for happiness…to late for love…._

_It was simply too late for her dreams to come true…she wouldn't be walking down the aisle with Athrun Zala ever. For by the time, they would let her go, he would be married to someone else. \_

_Sighing, Cagalli looks out the same window from so long ago. Gazing towards the area where the plants would be. Fantasizing, that it was her, the handsome Coordinator would marry, would love, and would have children with. Would cherish, and stay with forever…._

_But, because she had chosen her country… over her heart, she would have to live with her decision. A mistake, that for the rest of her life…she will always regret…._


End file.
